Congratulations!

Either one or both of your parents has vampire blood. Welcome to the vampire race!

Please keep a few things in mind as you ease into the most difficult phase of your life:

1. Light sensitivity, humming teeth, and stomach pains are completely normal. You’ll also be faster, stronger, and sexy as hell (if you’re lucky).

2. You’ll bloodlust and go crazy if you deny your body’s urge for blood. Why fight it?

3. Do not pierce the skin of a mundane involuntarily. We’re not animals and will not behave as such.

4. Therians, our shapeshifting brethren, cannot be trusted. Their loyalties shift as often as their identities.

And finally,

5. Lighten up—you’re not dead.

Contact Dylan, owner of ReVamp, in Crimson Bay, California, for more information.