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Text Me When You Get Home: The Evolution and Triumph of Modern Female Friendship (Paperback)
“Text Me has the thrills and laughs of a romantic comedy, but with an inverted message: ‘There just isn't only one love story in our lives,’ Schaefer writes. If you’re lucky, friends will be the protagonists in these multiple love stories. It’s high time that we start seeing it that way.”—NPR.org
A personal and sociological examination—and ultimately a celebration—of the evolution of female friendship in pop culture and modern society
For too long, women have been told that we are terrible at being friends, that we can’t help being cruel or competitive, or that we inevitably abandon each other for romantic partners. But we are rejecting those stereotypes and reclaiming the power of female friendship.
In Text Me When You Get Home, journalist Kayleen Schaefer interviews more than one hundred women about their BFFs, soulmates, girl gangs, and queens while tracing this cultural shift through the lens of pop culture. Our love for each other is reflected in Abbi and Ilana, Issa and Molly, #squadgoals, the acclaim of Girls Trip and Big Little Lies, and Galentine’s Day.
Schaefer also includes her own history of grappling with a world that told her to rely on men before she realized that her true source of support came from a strong tribe of women. Her personal narrative and celebration of her own relationships weaves throughout the evolution of female friendship on-screen, a serious look at how women have come to value one another and our relationships. Text Me When You Get Home is a validation that has never existed before. A thoughtful, heart-soaring, deeply reported look at how women are taking a stand for their friendships and not letting go.
About the Author
Kayleen Schaefer is a journalist and author of the bestselling Kindle Single memoir Fade Out. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, Vanity Fair, The New Yorker, Vogue, and many other publications. She currently lives in New York City, and Text Me When You Get Home is her first book.
Praise for Text Me When You Get Home
“A memoir of female friendship issues a call to action for BFFs everywhere.”—The New York Times Book Review
“Text Me has the thrills and laughs of a romantic comedy, but with an inverted message: ‘There just isn't only one love story in our lives,’ Schaefer writes. If you're lucky, friends will be the protagonists in these multiple love stories. It's high time that we start seeing it that way.”—NPR.org
“Schaefer traces the evolution of female friendship in this thoughtfully reported book. Its insightful cultural criticism makes for an especially valuable read in the #MeToo era.”—Entertainment Weekly
“Text Me When You Get Home is journalist Kayleen Schaefer’s love letter to her friends. Schaefer rejects the idea that women’s friendships are rife with dysfunction and that women themselves are somehow dysfunctional, a concept that she shows remains strong in popular culture…Schaefer shows that, contrary to pop culture’s emphasis on catfights and frenemies, women’s friendships are stabilizing and joyful.”—The Washington Post
“[A] witty, deep memoir [that] digs into the power and the glory of female friendships...Where to start unpacking the good news that Kayleen Schaefer broadcasts in her timely, nimble, essential memoir...Every page of this book has something valuable to impart about the necessity of fostering female bonds and tending them with the same care we give to our relationships with family, spouses, and children.”—Elle
“Reading Text Me When You Get Home feels like experiencing its subject—the intimate, slow-burning, miraculously comfortable thrill of making and keeping a lifelong friend. Kayleen Schaefer’s affectionate and clear-sighted exploration of female friendship is as romantic as a movie and as honest as the conversation on the third day of a road trip; reading it is as delightful as walking into a bar on a weeknight to see your friend already seated and ordering your drink.”—Jia Tolentino, staff writer at The New Yorker
“Schaefer certainly puts friends first in Text Me When You Get Home, a love letter to the power of female friendships in a world that would rather believe women are catty. From the friendship stories of everyday women to the evolution of cultural representation of women’s friendships, this uplifting book celebrates the friends who can be just as important (or more so) than our romantic partners.”—Parade.com
“Illuminating and uplifting… Text Me When You Get Home will remind you of what a good friendship is supposed to look like, and inspire you to nurture your relationships with the strong women around you.”—Bustle
“A hopeful celebration of women's friendships.”—Kirkus Reviews
“The title speaks for itself: I constantly say those exact words to my friends when we part ways or to my sister when she goes out for a run alone...Schaefer’s work is a great addition to this trend (and your bookshelf).” —Outside Magazine
“Schaefer creates a beautiful portrait of how modern female friendship has evolved to be a positive force that is making women stronger than ever....She artfully explains how the intense bond we experience as friends carries us through many different eras of our lives and dispels the idea that female friends are less important than romantic relationships, family, or careers....You will find something in this book that will make you want to text your own person and tell her how much she means to you.”—Buzzfeed, Favorite Books of 2018
“‘Text me when you get home.’ Those six words aren't just about getting home safely at the end of the night—they're really a story about how special and fierce friendships are between women.”—NPR's Book Concierge
“[Schaefer’s] book about the incredible, complicated bonds of female friendship is relatable, familiar, and subverts the false notion that women are predisposed to hating each other.”—Mental Floss
“This is a really good summer read to make you appreciate your friends. So just pick up a copy and you can finish it at the pool in like, a day. Just try not to cry in public.”—The Betches
“Text Me When You Get Home offers a new sociological perspective—as well as a celebration—of female friendships today.”—PopSugar
“I went to an all-girls boarding school, so I thought I had a PhD in female friendship, but Text Me When You Get Home put me in my place.”—Town & Country, Editor's Pick
“I was deeply moved by this book. I cried and I laughed. I recognized myself in it. I felt raised up and also challenged. It felt like a delicious, long overdue conversation with a best friend I didn’t know I had. I will be giving this book to all my girlfriends.”—Lennon Parham, creator, writer and star of Best Friends Forever and Playing House
“Warning: this absolutely delightful and insightful book on the immense power of female friendship will make you book a trip to visit your college best friend immediately. You might even buy Beyoncé tickets. It’s that good.”—Jessica St. Clair, creator, writer and star of Best Friends Forever and Playing House
“Here’s a book to devour in two sittings....Readers of all generations will enjoy her engaging writing and may see their own friendships reflected in her stories.”—Booklist
“Part social history, part personal narrative, Text Me When You Get Home is a Valentine to female friendship.”—ShelfAwareness
“A refreshing read that really gets at the heart of why portrayals on Insecure, Broad City, and everything in-between so greatly resonate.”—Bitch Media
“This in-depth look into the evolution of female friendship is one all women will benefit from this year.”—Working Mother